Question By: Few people deny that divorce is a source of grief. Most are quick to acknowledge that divorce is hard on children. The children often are too young to understand what is happening, and even teens are upset and saddened by the divorce of their parents. Less often considered, though, is the impact on the two adults involved in every divorce – the spouses.
Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship
Grief is a natural reaction to loss, and the breakup or divorce of a love relationship involves multiple losses:
• Loss of companionship and shared experiences (which may or may not have been consistently pleasurable).
• Loss of support, be it financial, intellectual, social, or emotional.
• Loss of hopes, plans, and dreams (which can be even more painful than practical losses).
Practice Excellent Self-Care
If the pandemic has taught us anything, it's the importance of self-care. At a minimum, get enough sleep, eat well, and exercise — and do whatever helps you feel good. “Grief isn't simply emotional,” Finn says. “It has physical effects, too.” Of course, this can be challenging if you've never been taught that it's okay to nurture yourself, but do it, anyway.
Seek professional help:
Whether it's talking to a mental health professional, a lawyer, or your child's school counselor, admit when you need some support and ask for help.
Create a support system.
In addition to having a trusted professional on your divorce journey, surround yourself with supportive friends and family. It's not uncommon for friendships to divide when a marriage divides. But that loss will only serve to make your true friends and allies stand out. Keep them close, and allow them to help rebuild your self-confidence and self-worth.
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